Of course you love Duterte. He's the cool guy. Of all the presidential contenders, he's the one you want to have a drink with. Think of the stories you would hear, stories that you can repeat at every drinking session for the rest of your life. He's the average-looking guy who can bag the babes. He's the guy who barely got passing grades in school, but still gets to be the boss. He rides a Harley. Woo-hoo!
He's always ready with a snappy retort. While other candidates are still thinking of their answers and considering the issues, he already has you doubled over with laughter. He says the things you wish you could say out loud—the things you stop yourself from saying because you don't want to offend your friends and colleagues. He's The Punisher, only real. What movie stars pretend to be, he is. Kill the criminals. Kill them all. That corpse is hot. He doesn't care how many people he offends. In fact, the more people he pisses off, the higher his ratings get. The louder you clap, the harder you laugh. He is not just your idol. You wish you were Duterte. He makes the other candidates look like wimps.
